Cafe Reggio's and Shaft Theme

Isaac Hayes

For all the bad motha . . .

Three Little Dwarfs

Hardrock, Coco and Joe

A story so queer.

Monkey to Man

Elvis Costello and the Imposters

Grab your bikinis, ape suits and juggling pins; we're meeting in the game room in ten minutes.

Sapphic Erotica

Sapphic Erotica

Did You Ever See A Dream Walking?

Ginger Rogers

Let Jack Haley and Art Jarrett have a goof, and then be ready with your ostrich feathers.

Love "I Lost My Heart On The Subway When I Gave My Seat To You."

Proud Mary

Ike and Tina Turner

We never, ever do nothing nice and easy.

I Say A Little Prayer

Aretha Franklin

For Penny.

100 Days, 100 Nights

Sahron Jones and the Dap-Kings

Fake Plastic Trees

Radiohead

Let's go shopping, Mitzi. Really, really sloooowly.

And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time

The Other Man

Sloan

Bianca requests this number by Sloan, which she describes as "only the best Canadian band ever, they're like the Beatles." Says this girl of a curious bent:

"I don't think there has ever been another song that has made cheating sound so sexy! And also, I had my first celebrity sighting recently and it involved one of the members of Sloan.

"I went to see my new family doctor at the Women's College Hospital and they have a bunch of different waiting rooms. I finally found the correct one and as I went to sit down I did a double take because I saw Chris Murphy (the lead singer). I didn't say anything, I probably just sat there with a stupid look on my face cause I was thinking "Omg, Chris Murphy is at the doctor's office!" Only then I found out he was actually there with his girlfriend or wife (couldn't figure out if they were married or not) and their infant son! So yeah, the lead singer of Sloan goes to the doctor just like you and me and he also has an adorable baby boy."

Sad Song

Au Revoir Simone

Merci beaucoup, Lynsey. On a de quoi faire la fête avec des garçons disparus.

Sex and Submission

Sex and Submission

Stagger Lee

Nick Cave

Bitch, Tilda, did you put "The Wiz" on my Smut Turntable? Did you think that was a joke? I hope you're still laughing when they count the holes in your motherfucking head and find I've fucked them all.

Don't doubt my badness, whore. I'd crawl over fifty good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole.

My way of thanking you for a fine turn at the turntable. Now, you better get down on your knees and suck my dick, 'cause if you don't, you're going to be dead.

Men In Pain

Men In Pain

A Brand New Day

The Wiz

An encore!

I am ending my set on a high note! With a message of freedom for all! I love “The Wiz.” I love it, I love it I love it. Diana Ross at her finest, Michael Jackson before he became what ever the hell he is now, Lena Horne, New York City as the land of Oz. I remember when I first saw it as a kid. Everything’s going great, the music is fun, the dancing is fabulous, it’s all pretty age appropriate (it took me a few years to understand that the “poppies” were hookers, but I digress).

Then at the big scene where the wicked witch Evillene is flushed down the toilet and all of the workers in the sweat shop are freed, it suddenly got very, very . . . sexy. They pull off those freaky costumes and strip down to almost nothing and it’s a big screen full of half-naked Alvin Alley dancers. Even as a kid, I knew it was kind of hot. No! It’s about liberation and the beauty of the human form! Black is beautiful and all that (it was the seventies).

This crappy little video does not do it justice. I recommend renting it and watching it on the biggest screen you can get, turn it up as loud as you can without pissing off your neighbors, take off your clothes, fashion yourself a loin cloth, get up off the couch and dance! Freedom and partial nudity for all!

Tilda

For The Girls

For The Girls

All Is Full Of Love

Björk

I started with Björk and that’s where I’ll leave. I picked this one mostly for the video. Robots have never been so sexy: the slickness of hard surfaces, mysterious liquids flowing through gears and wires. It’s like a soft-core version of 2001. I love metal, I love cuffs and cold steel on flesh. The contrast is delicious. It’s also my mantra these days. I have to remind myself that there are delicate workings inside this hard exterior:

You'll be given love
You'll be taken care of
You'll be given love
You have to trust it

Maybe not from the sources
You have poured yours
Maybe not from the directions
You are staring at

Trust your head around
It's all around you
All is full of love
All around you

All is full of love
You just ain’t receiving
All is full of love
Your phone is off the hook
All is full of love
Your doors are all shut
All is full of love!

Tilda

I Want U

Erykah Badu

There are some people who are sexy all the time no matter what. They have an ease and humor that gives them a certain sensuality just by existing. That’s Erykah Badu. She’s sexy without trying and doesn’t take herself to seriously. Realness is hot. Sometimes you just need to say it, no beating around the bush, no wasting time. “I want you.”

Tilda

All Mine

Portishead

Back when I thought I had game, Portishead was my default background sex music. It was silky, slow, but with a nice beat and at the same time the lyrics could be so painful. Thinking about it now, it was the perfect soundtrack to my sex life at that time: aching, desperate and full of longing. Fucking the wrong men, wishing they were someone else and knowing they were wishing I were someone else. I was numb from a broken heart that to this day still aches every now and then. This song demands love, screams for it while lulling you into a false sense of security. That line: “Render your heart to me . . . ”

Make no mistake
You shan't escape
Tethered and tied
There's nowhere to hide from me
All mine . . .

Tilda

Charlotte Forever

Serge Gainsbourg

I knew I wanted a Serge Gainsbourg in here, one of his duets, but which one? Jane Birkin, with her breathy, smoky orgasmic sighs, “Mon amour . . . ” Brigitte Bardot? I love the way she says “Bonnie,” as in “Bunee and Clyde . . ." Or how about a little suggestion of incest with his thirteen-year-old daughter? At least it’s slightly more subtle than “Lemon Incest.”

Tilda

Ohio

Utah Saints

I was not getting laid much in college, but that’s what happens when you’re a fag hag. What I was doing, besides masturbating a lot, was dancing my ass off! Every weekend I was on the floor, writhing and jumping and shaking my ass to the point of exhaustion. It’s the closest thing to sex, the bodies pressed against you, the boys taking of their sweaty shirts, one in front of me and one behind me. It didn’t matter that they were going home with each other instead of me. All that mattered was that thumping beat going through my body. Warehouse, R-Club, The Dock, then after the lights came on we stumbled out onto the street on weak and wobbly legs and headed straight to United Dairy Farmers for milkshakes.

Tilda