Telegram Sam

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Sattelite of Love

Lou Reed

Thought I'd end with a classic. This is Lou doing it live in 1998 . . . my one critique is that he should really consider contacts, or else get sexy glasses like mine ;-p Keep doing it, Lou!

Desire

Risingson

Massive Attack

Mezzanine was sex for me in high school. I remember one time I had my puppy-love friends over and i was so sick of seeing them dry-hump that I put on this album on, shut them in my room, and went for a long midnight swim with my other friend. That shut them up for a while. This is one of my favorite songs from the album.

Desire

They Made Frogs Smoke 'til They Exploded

Múm

Múm's one of my favorite bands. Part of that is because they're brilliant, and part of that is because they and Velvet Goldmine were the soundtrack to my first roll. There is NOTHING like really intense e sex to this band. Here's a song from their recently-released Go Go Smear The Poison Ivy.

Desire

Pure Morning

Placebo

OH MY GOD, BRIAN MOLKO IS SO SEXY I WANT TO ATTACH A GIANT BATTERY PACK TO HIM AND KEEP HIM IN MY CLOSET AS MY PERSONAL ANDROGYN-SIZED VIBRATOR.

Did I mention that he plays a character in Velvet Goldmine loosely based on Marc Bolan?

Desire

Run

Air

First time I ever came during penetration was during Air's Talkie Walkie. This is one of my fav songs on the album. I'll also give you a live clip so that you could see, as I did when I saw them live, just how edible the band members are. Oh. My. GOD.

If any air members are reading this, I was the girl at the edge of the stage in D.C., screaming, "JE VEUX AVOIR TOUS VOS ENFANTS!!"



Desire

Closer

Nine Inch Nails

NO Smut Turntable is complete without this song. I had/have so many fantasies relating to this song and Trent Reznor as a result of this video, which warped my sexual tastes at a delicate age. Yay, early SM exposure!

Desire

Ladytron

Roxy Music

Can you tell I like glam rock? I chose this over their live television performance of “Virginia Plain” because Bryan Ferry looks hotter in this clip.

Desire

TV Eye

The Stooges

Here's a rather famous Iggy clip, wherein our protagonist is visibly high and commits a lot of fantastic live television no-nos, including smearing his bare chest with peanut butter, before passing out in the crowd. HOTT. It is my personal mission to suck that man's dick.

Did I mention that Ewan McGregor parodies that performance in Velvet Goldmine? And that he shows his dick??



(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Desire

Venus In Furs

The Velvet Underground

This was my simple, one-song introduction to Andy Warhol, the greatest proto-glam band EVER and the finer points of masochism. Soon after hearing this song, I read the book it was based on and enjoyed it way more than my friend's graphic Sade books. ‘course back in early high school, neither my friend nor I understood that most of Sade's writings were actually a critique of the French Enlightenment and subsequent bureaucratic censorship, so we were evaluating the writing pretty much at face value. And I'm sorry, but I don't get turned on by a syphilitic servant raping a young woman's overbearing mother, whose orifices are then sewn shut by said daughter so that she will doubtlessly become infected. Not my thing.

Desire

Sex and Violence

The Exploited

In November of my senior year of high school, I saw The Exploited live at a club downtown. I took with me some little punk from the Colony I picked up that summer at the Warped Tour. That was my first mistake, because the Warped Tour is NOT punk. My second mistake is that the guy was a year younger than me (eww), and my third and fourth mistakes were agreeing to ferry him and his friend to and from the concert.

I don't expect you to know Dallas geography, but he lived in the Colony and his friend lived in Irving, each of which is a) not even in Dallas proper and b) WAY the fuck far away from downtown AND each other. But what can I say, I didn't exactly have many prospects for action during my senior year of high school.

When I get to his house to pick up him and his friend, he isn't even ready yet. He's doing his hair up in meticulous glue-held liberty spikes. My poseur alarm bells go way off. On the way there, we're getting psyched up, and it comes to light that they hadn't actually heard any Exploited songs. (Well, I'd only heard this one, but I didn't tell them that.) So I play them "Sex and Violence" on the car ride over. We arrive at the club and promptly elbow our way right to the front. Like, I was at the edge of the stage.

Unfortunately, so was my date. He stayed behind me throughout the entire concert, hanging off me like a lamprey, trying to make out with cold fish lips and totally embarrassing me by continually shouting "SEX AND VIIIIIIIIIOLENNNCE!!!!!!!!!!!" And then, to add insult to injury, I wasted a half-tank of gas driving two sweaty poseurs back to their respective ‘burbs.

It was the first and definitely not the last time I swore off younger men.

Desire

Hang On To Yourself

David Bowie

Oh man, Ziggy Stardust was the first album I ever had sex to. I am SUCH a glam nerd.

Desire

Baby's On Fire

Brian Slade

Just for the hell of it, this is Brian Slade's cover of Brian Eno’s song from Velvet Goldmine, which is the film that pretty much got me into glam rock and perversion. I saw it as a midnight film when I was thirteen, in the company of my sister, her friends, and my dad. I don't think any of us, least of all my dad, knew what we were in for when we went to go see it. The deciding point for me was seeing Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Ewan McGregor's close-up thirty-second French kiss.



(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Desire

Lookin' For A Kiss

New York Dolls

Besides being one of my favourite punk songs, this reminds me of my first kiss in an alley behind a shopping centre when I was thirteen. It was so awful that I broke up with the guy soon after!

Lesson learned: don't French before you've hit puberty.

Desire

Orgasm Addict

The Buzzcocks

Back in middle school when I discovered punk rock and masturbation, this was the best song . . . EVER. It's certainly apt to kick off my edition of Smut Turntable. I'd honestly hunt down the original single though, since frankly no punkers in their fifties look good singing the songs they wrote in their twenties.

Unless you're Iggy Pop.

Desire

Guest DJ: Desire

This weekend, the DJ booth is manned by Desire, a young rocker, sex rebel and dumpster-diving chef from down D.C. way. I was eager to get her mind between the ‘phones, given that she’s a musician with a fine flair for smut. She's also one for getting her naked self painted, which goes over big around these parts.



Desire

She’s easy on the eyes, sure, but let’s see how she is on the ears.